Little Girl Pulls 1500-Year-Old Sword Out of Lake, Is Now the King of Sweden
NewsLittle Girl Pulls 1,500-Year-Old Sword Out of Lake, Is Now the King of Sweden
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It's been a mixed bag of a week for monarchs. On one hand, evidence has mounted that Saudi crown prince Mohammad Bin Salman Al Saud almost certainly ordered the brutal execution of Washington Post journalist Jamal Khashoggi, betting that a horrid crime against humanity would go without pushback from the United States. (He might've bet correctly! Stay tuned.) On the other hand, Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex, announced she is pregnant with her first child. She also baked banana bread with chocolate chips.
But luckily, a clear, true hero has emergedâ"a King Arthurâ"type fi gure, if you willâ"to restore glory to her royal lineage. Meet 8-year-old Saga Vanecek. She's the new King of Sweden.
The Guardian published a delightfully weird as-told-to post from Vanecek herself, who "pulled a 1,500-year-old sword out of a lake" and then had to keep it a secret from her classmates until archaeologists could dig through the rest of the area. She admits she told her best friend about the discovery (honestly, fair!) but that was it, which is a level of self-control that already makes her eminently qualified to assume the throne of any kingdom. Please read the full articleâ"this joke gets tossed around a lot, but the headline and lead photo look more like an Onion story than anything on the Internet. Some highlights:
"On 15 July this year, I was playing on the beach with my friend, when Daddy told me to get a buoy from the cabin: he said the water level in the lake was very shallow and we had to warn a ny boats that might come along because it was dangerous. He said it had been the hottest summer for 260 years."
There are many, many bullshit "benefits" to climate change that are cited in bad faith by conservatives, but if conservatives pivoted to "we can discover more ancient artifacts that were previously buried deep in bodies of water," they might pick up some momentum.
"I felt like a warrior, but Daddy said I looked like Pippi Longstocking. The sword felt rough and hard, and I got some sticky, icky brown rust on my hands. It started to bend and Daddy splashed up to me, and said I should let him hold it. It was my sword and now he was taking it away! I gave it to him in the end."
Very rude of Saga's father. Just an unbecoming thing to say to the King of Sweden.
"When he showed it to an archaeologist, she said she had goosebumps and that it was at least 1,000 years old. Actually, they now think itâs 1,500 years old â" from before the Vikings. She called it 'sensational' and said nothing like this had ever been found in Scandinavia before, and that maybe I had found it because of the low water levels."
Again: Maybe a fun side benefit to climate change, or maybe she found it because she's, I don't know, the ONCE AND FUTURE KING.
"I had to give the sword to the local museum â" Daddy explained that itâs part of history and important to share it with others. I felt 'boo' that itâs gone away, but 'yay' that other people will get to see it. Iâm going to try to raise some money to make a replica sword that I can keep."
We all have those days when we feel boo and then yay, so this is very relatable. (Good trait for any leader.) You can donate to her, uh, replica sword fund here (all royals are allowed a few unnecessary indu lgences).
"People on the internet are saying I am the queen of Sweden, because in the legend of King Arthur, he was given a sword by a lady in a lake, and that meant he would become king. I am not a lady â" Iâm only eight â" but itâs true I found a sword in the lake. I wouldnât mind being queen for a day, but when I grow up I want to be a vet. Or an actor in Paris."
The current King of Sweden, Carl XVI Gustaf, has an extremely dorky name (sorry Carls out there), was stripped of any real power in 1974, and is already Sweden's longest-reigning monarch. If he knows what's good for him, he'll pass the mic to Sagaâ"the one true Kingâ"at which point Sweden's legislature will unanimously vote to reinstate the rule of a monarch. Long live Saga.Source: Google News Sweden | Netizen 24 Sweden